I'm taking me back.

Over the last several months I have posted many times, but this will be the first since November. I have been living a roller coaster life, and it has taken its toll on me. I have been effected emotionally and physically. Friendships were forged, lost, rekindled, and strengthened. Romantic relationships were at the forefront, and now they have taken a back seat. Way back, third row SUV style. It's not that I don't yearn for the affection, and certainly I long for love. I have been able to survive on my own for a little while now, and that is a first in my life. I have been able to focus on my professional life and recently I am getting to see tangible results. A major development emotionally has been my temperament. Many close to me know that I have had a history of losing control and blowing my top. Sometimes its an entertaining rant full of colorful language, other times its down right disturbing and excessive. I am very proud to say that it has been months since my last episode. I literally cannot remember when I had my last melt down. This is also a first in my life and it feels great. I have been able to battle this with a couple tricks, and one forced action.

After 7 years of busting my ass, in a mostly thankless environment, lately I have been fortunate enough to be rewarded for my hard work. Not with the people I devoted my life to and helped build a business and reputation with, but with the guys I have been with for only 9 months. I will be taking a trip to Guyana, South America at the end of this month to finish preparing a car that will be competing in the Caribbean Rally Series. An existing customer has shipped his motor to us to have it built. After he has received and installed it, my boss and I will be flying down to prepare the car for the up coming race season. Immediately following our return, we will be in the final stages of preparing our own race car for the One Lap of America series. Testing has already begun and its shaping up to be a very exciting event. I have been subdued in my outward expression for the events, but as the season draws near I cannot hold it in anymore. This is an amazing opportunity to contribute my abilities, and my passion. I feel like this year, this team, this shop, my efforts won't be undermined by someone else's ego or ulterior motives. The goal is to win, anything else would be a short fall, and we will all be putting forth our best efforts.

There is nothing romantically on the horizon. There is no one I have my eye on. The previous interests have fallen by the wayside. Not by my choice. Thats on them. They messed up. I am ready for a major step forward. They were not. Cool. Whatever. I need someone that is on the same level and wavelength as me. I need to be challenged. Somewhere, she is out there. I'm sure of that. This guy here? Ripe for the picking. For "the one", not just anyone, of course.

For now, its back to having fun. Being carefree, but not irresponsible. Time for me to be me again. This is my time, my year. I'm gonna do it right. Well, maybe not "right" but better than ever before. Time for Half Man, Half Amazing.