Life seems to be one long line of let downs. Sure, there are flashes of hope, and small triumphs, but inevitably those just lead to bigger let downs. I've tried to remain positive, and continue to fight the good fight. I try to keep faith in people and myself. Try to believe in others, that they'll do the right thing, take some responsibility, show some pride, and BE HONEST. I can only take so much of these people I trust/admire/respect/love, looking me dead in the eye and then spewing some bullshit. I'm losing faith. I am growing weary. I am seriously, irreparably, disappointed. And right now I just want to be alone.
This week a couple of old/good friends of mine (Bob and Sarah) lost their mother (Kathryn) to cancer. I did not even know she had been diagnosed, I had lost contact with them for some time. I need to share what kind of woman she was to me. Some of this I didn't realize until I started to reminisce.
Kathy was the type of woman that questioned the motives of an 18 yr old boy that took an interest in her 15 yr old daughter, and voiced those concerns to the boy directly, but she still welcomed him into her home. I instantly respected her, and respected her daughter, and never crossed that boundary. Kathy put her own ass on the line, and allowed (on a nearly nightly occurrence for the better part of 2 years) a bunch of teens to squat at her house and partake in some recreational activities, play Uniracers, Mario Kart, and KI Gold till 1 am or later. She didn't do it out of irresponsibility, she did it to ensure her own children, as well as their delinquent friends, were in a safe place. Not out in the streets getting into trouble. Kathy wasn't rich, and she worked hard to keep food in the fridge and a roof over the heads of her kids. Not to mention feeding all of us other bastards too. When I backed my car into hers, taking out a fender on that Dodge Omni, she was upset but willing to let it go (although her boyfriend was not, and I replaced that fender). She gave us a place to go when we were all first getting away from home, but not too far away, because not a single one of us lived more than a couple blocks from our hangout. My final memory is seeing her at the diner she worked at over off of Secor Rd. Our group was slowly growing apart, she had moved out of the neighborhood and into an apartment, but she still requested we come visit. She came and sat at the table with Bob and I. Just to chat, ask how things were, share what was new in her life. She was a good mom. She was a good person. The world is a little darker without Kathryn Mcgee in it. I'm so sorry Sarah, Bob, and Kathleen.
I also found out this week that my elementary school was closed after this last school year. No ceremony, no tribute, nothing. Its a hollow shell, and an empty lot. As a childhood friend pointed out, only the Four Square spots remain. Lark Elementary was a part of my family. My parents attended there. Some of the faculty that was there when I ran the halls, taught my uncles and aunts. It wasn't just a place, it was an attitude. It was our family crest. We were tougher than those kids (literally) across the tracks. We were Lark Siders, and we were damn proud of it. Lark Elementary is an icon of my childhood and I feel like if its going to be lost, at least give it some dignity.
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